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Posts Tagged ‘men’

At a recent Catholic wedding I attended, the priest spoke to the bride and groom about the difference between a contract and a covenant. He talked about how the union they were undertaking was not a contractual arrangement like a business deal but a sacred promise to each other and, by extension, to God.

This was the first time I can recall hearing this issue addressed during a wedding ceremony. It seemed apt and it got me thinking.

My generation, the Baby Boomers, grew up in the aftermath of World War II. It was the age of nuclear proliferation, a time of major scientific discoveries which helped provide answers to many of our questions about the universe and which (like the birth control pill) provided us with more control over our destinies. We witnessed the coming of age of the feminist movement and experienced the “Summer of Love” along with the era of disillusion and anti-heroism following the Vietnam War which led to the Gordon Gecko “Greed Is Good” 80s.

We went from a generation of idealists to a generation of cynics to a generation of pragmatists. No wonder we started thinking of marriage more like a business agreement and a matter of mutual convenience. Of course, the inevitable result was the burgeoning divorce rate among Boomers which must have created psychological concerns about commitments for our children.

When Googled the question “What is the difference between a contract and a covenant?”, one of the results was this: “The difference is in the attitude of contract versus the attitude of covenant. In contract both parties are hoping to limit liability or maximize profit or otherwise make things better for the self. The contract is then a way of ensuring that things go just as planned and, if necessary, to force the other party to promised action….A covenant relationship is one in which certain terms are set, yes, but the parties make the cause of the other their own cause. In other words, when I make a covenant, the goals and desires of the person with whom I am covenanting become my own.” Sounds about right.

So, have the children of Baby Boomers learned a valuable lesson about marriage and long-term relationships from our mistakes? Or is this just wishful thinking?

Your thoughts?